It can be easier to weep with those who weep than it is to rejoice with those who rejoice. Why? Because we are selfish. It’s easier to walk alongside someone who is suffering than to watch someone experience success without a pang of jealousy, bitterness, or annoyance. You can weep with your friend who is experiencing infertility right alongside you, but can you rejoice when she gets pregnant and you don’t? You can shoulder the burden of your friend who lost his job, but can you rejoice when he gets hired at his dream job while you are discontent at your job?
When we truly love our friends like Jesus loves us, our love has nothing to do with us. Jesus’s love is a self-forgetful kind of love. When we embody this love in our friendships, we love our friends without connecting everything back to ourselves. We can rejoice with them without even a hint of jealousy or bitterness, because love is humble.
First Corinthians 13:4 says that love “does not envy,” “it is not proud,” “it is not self-seeking.” When we are willing to love our friends by sharing our whole lives with them, it opens us up to a friendship that is ruled by love. It is easy for friendships to be ruled by selfishness, comparison, envy, or pride. Friendships often keep record of wrongs, hold onto bitterness, and give up when conflict arises, but the friendships that Jesus calls us to are defined by his love. And his love “always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” and it “never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8, NIV). This love is present only in deep, selfless friendships; and it’s the friendships we were made for.
Reflection/Discussion Questions: When was the last time you struggled to rejoice when a friend was rejoicing? Why?
Comments