Types of Commitments

These days, with social media and technology, it’s easy to confuse number of connections with depth of relationship. We settle for social gatherings full of small talk, consistent interactions on Facebook, and quick work conversations to fill us up. But settling for these kinds of relationships over deep relationships is like eating a bag of chips when you’re hungry for a meal. The chips may curb your hunger for the moment, but you will be hungry again.  Yet, we settle for these kinds of superficial relationships over and over again and wonder why we feel so lonely. Anxiety and depression are at an all time high in teens and young adults. We have to wonder if the width of connection may be replacing depth of connection and how that replacement is affecting our mental and spiritual health. We were made for the kind of connection that the Trinity models for us. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are in perfect unity. They are committed to one another and in perfect community with one another. If we were made in the image of the Trinity, we were made to reflect this kind of beautiful community with one another. This doesn’t mean that we have to invest in every single person in our lives. Even Jesus didn’t invest in more than twelve people. He had relationships with more than twelve, but he gave himself to the twelve and heavily invested in three within that twelve. Jesus modeled for us the impact of unyielding commitment to a few friends. Jesus revealed parts of himself to these three that he didn’t to the rest, like in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-37) and on a mountaintop during his transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-2). If we want committed relationships in our lives, it starts with looking to Jesus and following his example with others in our lives. Reflection/Discussion Question: How does thinking about the community within the Trinity help you think differently about your own community?

It can be easier to weep with those who weep than it is to rejoice with those who rejoice. Why? Because we are selfish. It’s easier to walk alongside someone who is suffering than to watch someone experience success without a pang of jealousy, bitterness, or annoyance. You can weep with your friend who is experiencing infertility right alongside you, but can you rejoice when she gets pregnant and you don’t? You can shoulder the burden of your friend who lost his job, but can you rejoice when he gets hired at his dream job while you are discontent at your job? When we truly love our friends like Jesus loves us, our love has nothing to do with us. Jesus’s love is a self-forgetful kind of love. When we embody this love in our friendships, we love our friends without connecting everything back to ourselves. We can rejoice with them without even a hint of jealousy or bitterness, because love is humble. First Corinthians 13:4 says that love “does not envy,” “it is not proud,” “it is not self-seeking.” When we are willing to love our friends by sharing our whole lives with them, it opens us up to a friendship that is ruled by love. It is easy for friendships to be ruled by selfishness, comparison, envy, or pride. Friendships often keep record of wrongs, hold onto bitterness, and give up when conflict arises, but the friendships that Jesus calls us to are defined by his love. And his love “always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” and it “never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8, NIV). This love is present only in deep, selfless friendships; and it’s the friendships we were made for. Reflection/Discussion Questions: When was the last time you struggled to rejoice when a friend was rejoicing? Why?