Intimacy Deepens With Verbal Communication

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Sexual, emotional, and spiritual intimacy are all woven together; they are inseparable so that one intimacy cannot grow without fostering the growth of the other two. If you just focus on sexual intimacy and ignore what it takes to grow emotional and spiritual intimacy, sexual intimacy will be stunted. And one of the most important ways to grow emotional intimacy is through words. 

In Song of Solomon chapter 4, before Solomon even touches his new bride, he moves his way down her body, speaking of how beautiful she is. He doesn’t do this out of obligation to get to the “good part” that he wants. He is compelled by his love and cannot stay silent.

We are people of purposeful words because we are created in the image of God and enjoy his indwelling Spirit. Not only did God’s words create the world, he continues his work by the power of his word. Isaiah 55:10-11 says, “As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” (NIV). If we are filled with this same Spirit, then we hold the power to speak words that bring flourishing and creation. We can be people whose words are never spoken in vain. 

In our marriages, we should speak words of life that bring flourishing and intimacy. Whether we are speaking about our spouse’s looks, giving an encouraging word, offering appreciation, or expressing pure joy, all that we speak has the power to grow the intimacy we were created to experience in marriage. 

Reflection/Discussion Question: How are you doing with growing intimacy in your marriage or your other relationships with your words?

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