Sex was never meant to be a purely physical act to satisfy a purely physical desire. Sex is the physical expression of our inward desire to be fully known and fully loved—this is true intimacy. Intimacy is our deep desire for a fully-known kind of love that can be expressed physically (through both sex and other actions), emotionally, verbally, and spiritually. This is why the word “yada” is the Hebrew word used to describe sex many times in the Old Testament, but it’s also used to talk about God knowing us and us knowing God. “Yada” is a deep knowing that goes beyond surface-level knowledge. So, while sex isn’t the only way to experience the intimacy we crave, it is an important piece of the ways we were created to experience intimate love within marriage.
Most of the world is living in drought from a lack of true intimate love—whether physical, emotional, verbal, or spiritual. It’s easy to see by looking at the empty cisterns people run to in order to satisfy their thirst: cheap sex, pornography, secret affairs (both emotional and sexual), transactional relationships, or lustful fantasies. This is why many couples enter into marriage deeply thirsty and wounded from the empty cisterns they’ve run to to find satisfaction.
Sex, in the context of marriage, is meant to be the cistern where we can freely drink to satisfy our thirst, yet the enemy attacks us on every front so that we would keep pursuing empty cisterns to satiate our longings for intimacy, rather than pursuing satisfaction in sexual intimacy the way God created it to be experienced. The enemy’s plan is that we would return to the empty cisterns again and again, looking for water so that we would be kept away from going to the well of eternal life that is Jesus. If we will first and foremost trust God, then we can trust his design for sex and enjoy the gift he has given us to experience a “yada” kind of love.
Reflection/Discussion Question: What do you think about how the same word, “yada,” is used for sex and for our relationship with God?
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