Dangerous Out of Context

Without knowing the context behind Song of Solomon, we might think that it’s a “happily ever after” story about a relationship that most of us desire. But given the context, it is more of a picture of our own relationship with God than it is a romantic story we can dream about. Solomon had a thriving and beautiful marriage where he and his wife freely enjoyed true intimacy the way God created us to experience intimacy. They were naked and felt no shame. Does this sound familiar? Genesis 2:25 says after the marriage and sexual union of Adam and Eve: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (NIV). Humankind not only had a perfect relationship with God, the Creator, but with one another. They were relationships marked by nakedness instead of shame. Their physical nakedness was a representation of the vulnerability they enjoyed where they could be fully known and loved by God and one another.  Later, when Adam and Eve are deceived by Satan, Adam says, “ ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid’ ” (Genesis 3:10, NIV). Like Solomon, we chose, and still often choose, cheap pleasure in exchange for true intimacy with our Father. We choose our own way as we distrust God’s design. Because our relationship with God is fractured, none of our relationships can be fulfilling. Our soul still craves what we were created for, but we can’t seem to find satisfaction in what the world has to offer. In fact, we end up more broken and empty no matter how hard we try to fill up on the world’s pleasures. It is only through Christ that our relationship to God and our relationships with one another can be reconciled. It is only through Christ that we can return to the fully-knowing, fully-loving relationship we were created to experience with God and one another in marriage. Reflection/Discussion Question: How do you see the effects of sin in your own heart when it comes to sexual intimacy?

Sex was never meant to be a purely physical act to satisfy a purely physical desire. Sex is the physical expression of our inward desire to be fully known and fully loved—this is true intimacy. Intimacy is our deep desire for a fully-known kind of love that can be expressed physically (through both sex and other actions), emotionally, verbally, and spiritually. This is why the word “yada” is the Hebrew word used to describe sex many times in the Old Testament, but it’s also used to talk about God knowing us and us knowing God. “Yada” is a deep knowing that goes beyond surface-level knowledge. So, while sex isn’t the only way to experience the intimacy we crave, it is an important piece of the ways we were created to experience intimate love within marriage. Most of the world is living in drought from a lack of true intimate love—whether physical, emotional, verbal, or spiritual. It’s easy to see by looking at the empty cisterns people run to in order to satisfy their thirst: cheap sex, pornography, secret affairs (both emotional and sexual), transactional relationships, or lustful fantasies. This is why many couples enter into marriage deeply thirsty and wounded from the empty cisterns they’ve run to to find satisfaction.  Sex, in the context of marriage, is meant to be the cistern where we can freely drink to satisfy our thirst, yet the enemy attacks us on every front so that we would keep pursuing empty cisterns to satiate our longings for intimacy, rather than pursuing satisfaction in sexual intimacy the way God created it to be experienced. The enemy’s plan is that we would return to the empty cisterns again and again, looking for water so that we would be kept away from going to the well of eternal life that is Jesus. If we will first and foremost trust God, then we can trust his design for sex and enjoy the gift he has given us to experience a “yada” kind of love. Reflection/Discussion Question: What do you think about how the same word, “yada,” is used for sex and for our relationship with God?