Pursue Peace

I was having a really rough time at the beginning of the summer because I was home from college and everyone wanted to hang out to catch up. Of course, that wasn’t an issue, I love seeing people especially old friends. But it got to a point where I no longer had time for myself and I hated that. After I started my summer job, I would say no to hanging out more because I was so exhausted. It really was bothering one of my friends because she just thought I didn’t want to hang out with her or that I didn’t want to be her friend anymore. So there was a lot of turmoil going on. I talked to her the other day and told her that sometimes I just have to be alone, that I need the time to recharge and that it’s nothing against her. We had a pretty long talk about everything going on and how to improve our friendship, so I’m really happy with how this challenge worked out. I’m always trying to bring more peace into my life but never do until I’m pushed to.

Sometimes, it feels like forgiving someone for the wrong they committed against you is letting them off the hook. If you don’t take revenge, then we think the other person will think what they did wasn’t that bad. However, 1 Peter 3:9 tells us that we “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” Trying to win every argument and avenge every wrongdoing is not only unbiblical, but it is exhausting and normally does not lead to the satisfaction that we think we are going to find.  God is the perfect judge of all people, and we are called to trust in his judgement, not our own. He is a far better judge than we could hope to be, and knows all sides and aspects of a person’s story. Hebrews 4:13 states, “And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” But what we find when we hand over this role of judge to God is that it is incredibly freeing. We don’t feel like we need to settle scores, come up with a way to get even, or worry if the other person got what they deserve. This allows us to be more free, joyful, and focus on what God has in store for us.  DISCUSSION/REFLECTION QUESTIONS: Reflect on a time when you decided to let something go instead of seeking to settle the score with someone. What did you experience through this response?

There are few ways that better to show people the love and character of Jesus, then for someone to do evil to you and you to respond to them with good. For someone to try to take food out of your mouth and you to respond by feeding them. For someone to try to bring pain to your life and you respond by bringing joy, kindness, and encouragement to theirs. This shows those around us exactly what Jesus was like, because Jesus was the perfect example of loving his enemies.  Jesus was loving his enemies when he was born in a manager because no one recognized him to be the King of kings. Jesus was loving his enemies when he lived the absolute perfect life and never sinned against somebody. Jesus was loving his enemies when Jesus was arrested and nailed to a cross by people who he created. Jesus essentially said, “You've wronged me yet, but I'm going to step into the situation and I'm going to provide the resolution. In fact, you are not going to be the one who has to pay for what you've done, I'll pay for it. The harmony between God and man matters so much that I will take those sins upon myself.” That's Jesus loving his enemies.  DISCUSSION/REFLECTION QUESTIONS: Think about difficult people who may have hurt you or wronged you in some way. We are challenged to think about how to respond to them not based on how they've treated us, but instead, the way Jesus has treated you. How has Jesus been treated by me and what would Jesus do in this situation?

Revenge can be hard not to act on because it feels right to us when someone wrongs us. Without pursuing some sort of revenge, we worry the other person will think what they did is okay and they won't have gotten what they deserve in retribution. But it's strange that we would think that way, because, as believers in Jesus, our entire existence depends on us not getting what we deserve from God. We get to experience the grace and the mercy of God on a daily basis, and we rejoice that we are recipients of that mercy, but we don't like to share it with others when they have wronged us or hurt us. But as Christians, we are called to share it with as many people as possible.  Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” So Paul is reminding us that we are not to take on the role of judge – God is the judge, and he does not need your help to bring justice. We, as flawed humans, are not good judges. But God is the perfect judge. We serve a God who already knows all the evidence. God has never had one of his rulings overturned because he made the wrong decision. God is not biased, and he does not need your help to be the judge. Let God be God. DISCUSSION/REFLECTION QUESTIONS: Recall a time when you have taken revenge or wanted to take revenge. What about that situation caused you to feel justified in these feelings? How does reflecting on God’s mercy and grace make you feel regarding your justification for revenge?

It can be easy to turn any interaction into a competition that you feel like you have to win, but you cannot love someone while trying to win an interaction. You cannot be interested in somebody else’s good while trying to make sure your interests are the only ones served. Paul says in Romans 12:18 that if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. There's no way for us to have a perfect relationship with everyone around us, but God has called us to self-control. He has not called us to others control. One of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. Even if you try, you cannot obey Jesus for anybody else. You cannot be humble for anybody else. You cannot confess wrongs for anybody else. You cannot apologize for anyone else. You can only be faithful. So, this is why Paul says as far as it depends on you.  There are instances where you can only do some much on your end, and you reach a point where all you can do is I can pray for others and continue to try to love them to the best of your ability.  Living at peace with people doesn't just mean you don't fist fight when you see each other. It doesn't just mean profanity is not thrown around. It means there are no barriers between us. They are not things that we're holding against one another. We can't be best friends with everybody, but it does not that we mean that we let conflicts sit, build, and stay between them and us.  DISCUSSION/REFLECTION QUESTIONS: Who is someone in your life who you need to initiate peace with? Pray through how you might approach this person to begin this process of pursuing peace.