In marriage, you can be a rule keeper: “It's a contract. You do this and I do this, and don't mess up.” You can be a pleasure seeker and just use your spouse for your pleasure and fulfillment. Or you can be a grace dweller, and say, “God put this person in my life so I could be the physical manifestation of God's grace to them. And so that by being married to them, I would learn even more to depend on God's grace.”
In your pain, you can be a rule keeper: “God, aren't you powerful enough for this?” You can be a pleasure seeker: “God, I'm just going to numb it any way it takes.” Or you can be a grace dweller where you beg God to remove the thorn in your flesh and you hear him say, “My grace is sufficient.” And you press on.
In your doubt, you can be a rule keeper: “God, give me the answer.” Or you can be a pleasure seeker: “God, I'll go somewhere where I can get an answer.” Or you can be a grace dweller, and say, “God, I don't get it. And this is one more reason I have to depend on you.”
In your loneliness, you can be a rule keeper: “God, you promised in this verse.” You can be a pleasure seeker: “God, if you don't provide, I'll take it into my own hands.” Or you can be a grace dweller and pray, “Oh God, how I need you.”
The way the rule keeper will exhaust you. The way of the pleasure seeker will disappoint you. But the way of the grace dweller will sustain you. This why in Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Read how Eugene Peterson paraphrases the end of this passage; he says, “Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me. You'll learn to live freely and lightly.” Don't you want to live freely and lightly? You have to walk in the way of grace!
Reflection/Discussion Questions: Do you tend to be a rule follower, pleasure seeker, or grace dweller? How can you take steps to be more of a grace dweller in life?
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