Many times, it is easier to be mad or annoyed with others than it is to be angry or frustrated with yourself. We don’t want to change the way we do something, so it’s just easier to be annoyed or frustrated with someone else whose way of doing things feels like an indictment on us. If you’ve been convicted of something in your life, then that conviction should lead you to make some changes in your life.
The opposite is true as well though. Someone may seem angry at you, but they're truly angry or disappointed with themselves. They're not who they wanted to be or not where they wanted to be at this point in their life. They know they need to be doing some things different, but it's just easier to be mad at you than to tell themselves the truth.
Anger is often a secondary emotion, letting you know that there's something in your blind spot that needs attention. Sometimes this anger is pointing to fear. Sometimes it's pointing to regret or shame. And then sometimes it is pointing us towards things like fatigue. So, when anger starts to flash, it should get your attention and make you stop and think about what's there that you're not seeing. What's in your blind spot?
DISCUSSION/REFLECTION QUESTION: When has there been a time in your life when your anger has really been a secondary emotion? Can you think of when you’ve been outwardly angry at someone else, but you were really angry at yourself?
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